Grief and Loss

It’s happened. A loss that you couldn’t imagine before. The passing of a loved one. A beloved pet. Your job and financial security. Health or physical ability. Your marriage. A life-long dream. Your home. 

You have such immense pain that often it feels hard to breathe. 

Sometimes you just want to cry for hours. Other times you don’t feel like you have any tears left. Occasionally the anger boils over and you can’t control it. You just want to feel better, but you can’t. You’re stuck.

Nobody understands and no one knows what to say. You’re afraid to reach out for help, afraid to be a burden. And you think, “What good is it anyway, they can’t do anything for me.”

You’re alone in the worst pain you can imagine. Or sometimes, even worse, you can’t feel anything at all. Just numbness. Emptiness.

When is it going to get better? Is it going to get better?

Loss is a painful yet unavoidable part of life

And grief is a natural healing process.

Grief looks different for everyone.

There are many stages to grief, but you may find yourself going back and forth between the stages.

Some people may skip stages altogether.

Just as no two people are exactly alike, no two grief processes are exactly alike.

One of the most important things to remember is there is no “wrong” way to grieve.

Here are some common ways people feel when they are grieving:
  • Shocked or in disbelief. Feeling numb. Maybe even denial that the loss occurred.
  • Sadness and despair.  Loneliness or feelings of abandonment. Some people feel empty.
  • Guilt, regret, and shame.
  • Anger or resentment.
  • Hopelessness and helplessness. Confusion. Anxiety, insecurity, and fear.

So what should healthy grieving look like?

Healthy grieving should eventually result in a person begin able to:

Accept the reality of the loss

Work through the pain of grief

Adjust to life without who (or what) was lost

And maintain a connection to who (or what) was lost while moving on with life

So what can I do to help?

A grief counselor is trained to help you address your intense emotions and continue making progress in the grief process.

Sometimes people feel stuck and unable to move past their loss.

Grief counseling gives you a guide that is there to be with you in your pain, but who is also able to gently and slowly guide you through adjusting to a new life.

In therapy, we work on expressing those emotions that are needing to be expressed.

We also explore ways to cope with your new reality, honor your loss, and adjust to a new life.

If you feel you could use support and comfort during this time

Please call me at (402) 937-9700 or email Christina@RiverCairnCounseling.com.

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Phone: (402) 937-9700

Email: christina@rivercairncounseling.com

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